If you’ve ever been a young military spouse, you know the mix of love, fear, and “what the heck did I just sign up for?” I didn’t have a clue what the years ahead would hold—deployments, goodbyes, moves, and rebuilding over and over. All I knew was this: I was head-over-heels for my best friend, and we were about to take on the world together.
A Courthouse Wedding in True Military Fashion
There were no fancy flowers, no big sparkly rings, no family or friends—just the two of us. And honestly? That’s all we needed.
A few weeks before our courthouse wedding, rumors were swirling through basic training that unmarried soldiers would be sent overseas immediately after graduation. Neither of us wanted to start our marriage an ocean apart, so we fast-tracked our plans. And just like that, at only 18 years old, we found ourselves standing in a small courthouse in Lawton, Oklahoma, officially becoming Mr. and Mrs.
I was nervous, of course. Nervous about military life. Nervous about where we’d live. Nervous about being on our own. But most of all, nervous about whether our marriage could survive the uncertainty that came with this new life we were stepping into.
But what I didn’t understand then—but I do now—is this: it was all going to be okay.
The Hard Made Us Stronger
Military life is hard—like really really hard. Trust me, I see it every day in the military spouse Facebook groups I’m in. But somehow, it’s molded our marriage into something stronger than I ever imagined.
We’ve been together since we were 17 years old. We took on a life that was uncertain and honestly very confusing at times. We’ve had separations that broke us, deployments that destroyed our souls, and I’ve been both mom and dad more times than I can count. Unfortunately, there is no how to guide on how to get through the hard. You just do it—and it either breaks you or builds you. I’ve had my fair share of both.
But here’s the beautiful part—every hard season eventually led us somewhere better. The nights I cried alone taught me how strong I really was. The moves that felt impossible showed me how to start over with grace. And every deployment reminded us not to take a single moment together for granted. Those struggles didn’t just test our marriage; they forged it. What once felt like chaos slowly became the foundation of who we are—resilient, patient, and fiercely loyal to each other.
The Secret to Longevity (and believe me, I don’t have it all figured out, just a perspective)
Not long ago, I read a story about a couple married for 75 years. When asked their secret to a long happy marriage, the husband said:
“We never gave up on the same day.”
That one hit me hard.
Because truthfully, there were times when life—especially the Army—threw grenades into our plans. There were days when I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and ready to wave the white flag. (We’ve never been close to calling it quits—killing each other…maybe 😉). But Mike didn’t give up on me. And there were days when he was weighed down by the struggles of military life, and I was the one who kept fighting. We’ve never given up on the same day…
After 24 years together, we’ve faced more than our fair share of challenges—but we never gave up on the same day. And that has made all the difference.
What I’d Tell My 18-Year-Old Self On My Wedding Day:
If I could go back to that courthouse in 2003 and whisper something to the nervous girl standing there, here’s what I’d say:
- It will all be okay. No matter what, you’ll figure it out.
- The hard of military life will make your marriage stronger.
- Together, you can survive anything.
- Never give up on the same day.
- Always remember why you said “I do.”
Final Thoughts:
In a world that constantly tells you to walk away the moment things get hard, remember this: “Never give up on the same day.” Your marriage is worth fighting for!
💬 Now I want to hear from you—what advice would you give your younger self on your wedding day? Drop it in the comments below!